How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.
— Psalm 13 NIV

I love this Psalm! I know what you're thinking, "Morgan these verse are a bummer until the end". But the beauty is in the ending! This Psalm is real, it's raw, it shows that even the man who God calls "A man after God's own heart" felt pain sometimes and a distance from God.

David cries out to God asking "How long will you forget me?". He feels forgotten by God, alone, and frustrated. This is the man who sings over and over again about his nearness to God and how wonderful it is to be loved by Him.

all the time God is good

Which is true? Is God a loving God who is always present, or is it the opposite? Is He distant and absent? Let's ask David. In the midst - NOT AFTER. in the same breath that David cries to God in hurt - he says "But I have trusted in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation". God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. He is bigger than the distance we feel from Him sometimes. 

This is it. This is the secret to keeping the faith and persevering; it's not saying it's sunny when it's storming inside your heart, it's not putting on a smile as you walk into Freshley Monday nights. It is the moments when you call out to God, tell Him how you feel and choose to place trust in Him where you good put fear or doubt. His love is steadfast, it never ends and never wavers. 

I read a quote the other day that said, "Trust can make you so much stronger than doubt will ever keep you safe". So when the storm comes and the chaos abounds choose to trust in His love. Call out to God in every emotion that you feel. Choose to feel and bring it all to God, but end your thoughts and prayers with something like: "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord's praise, for he has been good to me."

pray

Jesus, I thank You for the process. I thank You for the moments in the in between, where my feet seem unplanted and I'm in over my head. I thank You that I get to know You in the chaos. You are not a God who is far off, despite of what I feel sometimes. I thank You that my prayers aren't to an empty room. I thank You that You never leave me, Your love never ends, and You have been good to me always. Amen.  

- Morgan Reed