As I was thinking about the Character of God series for this blog, the first thing that I thought of was how safe God is. I feel like this is something that many of us know in our head but often times this concept has a hard time making it to our hearts. For me, I used to try to hide things from God - If I had a doubt about him or my faith or if I did something that I was ashamed of I would hide from God. Even though I had read Psalm 139 enough times to know that God knows my every thought and action, I still ran and hid from Him, I tried to keep things from Him.
I don't know exactly how or when I developed this habit, I think it probably just was born out of a natural human tendency to try and hide our mess. But this habit started to create a tension in my spirit, because as I continued to hide, as I continued the impossible task of keeping my innermost thoughts from God, I started to develop a lack of trust. Even though God had never proven himself not trustworthy, my actions had decided that He was. This habit really started to wear on me - it is exhausting to hide things especially when I was hiding from the God I was also desperately trying to pursue.
At one point, I finally had one of those click moments. I don't know if you ever have had one of those in your walk with Jesus but it was one of those moments where an aspect of God suddenly just clicked in my mind. It wasn't a large moment or a specific phrase that did it, my brain just had a click moment and I realized: God is abounding in mercy. He is safe. He is trustworthy. Hebrews 4:16 says "Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." This was what I was missing. This was what I did not quite understand. The King James Version of this verse says 'let us come boldly to the throne of grace.' God invites us to come and lay everything at his feet: every thought, every doubt, every sin, every worry. He wants all of our mess.
Throughout this process, I started to learn how safe and how merciful God is. I also realized that God loves when we bring our mess to his feet because then He can start to deal with it. The more that we hide, the more that we try to shove under a rug the things that we don't want to expose, the more that they consume us. God's desire for his children is for us to be transformed & become more like Christ. But in order for us to be transformed, we have to deal with our mess. He delights in showing us mercy because if we can start to leave our mess behind, we also start to step more fully into who He has created us to be, who He is refining us into.
This shift in my mindset changed everything about my relationship with God. When I realized that God was the safest place, that He invited me to come as I am, that He had new mercy for me every single day - then when I messed up or when I had a doubt or struggle, it was easy to run to Him and lay it at his feet. My mess no longer consumed me because I did not have to spend time and energy hiding it. Instead, as I ran to God and lay every thing at His feet - I received grace and mercy. As I dealt with my mess - I let God silence my fear and doubt. I received forgiveness in my struggles and started to move forward away from them.
You get to be real with God. He is your safe place. He does not grow weary of dealing with your struggle but in fact has new mercy for you every single day. He already knows every thought you have before you think it and sees you at every moment, even your darkest ones. So since you can't effectively hide anything from Him anyway & since Hebrews tells us to approach the throne of grace with confidence: bring your mess to his feet. Know that God is your refuge and your safe haven. He wants you to bring everything to Him because He is ready to deal with it so you can move forward. My prayer for you today is that if it hasn't clicked yet, that the truth of how safe and merciful our Father is would click with you today.
- Megan McGarrah