I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.
- Psalm 57:1B

Recently, I have experienced some circumstances with friends and family that have seemed kind of chaotic. A lot of things didn't make sense - why were people acting the way they were acting? Does this mean people don't love me? Is something really bad about to happen? How do I deal with the really bad things that have already happened here? I think that most people experience a time in their life like this where it seems like everything happened all at once and you're not sure how you're supposed to process it all. 

Generally, I take one of two routes of dealing with this kind of thing - retreat into myself and run away from people or try to control everyone to make sure everything is okay. Neither of these work. Every single person has the choice to behave in whatever way they want and we can't make them change. We might can get someone to choose something we want, but we can't make their heart change for them. We can't make people process change with God - only they can choose to do that. We have to wait and give people space to do this.

In the midst of all of this, I leaned hard on this verse - it was written on my arm, in my journal, on my mirror. What I learned most from this verse is to wait for understanding. While the disaster is happening, I will feel emotions and pain and insecurities will come out in ways that I won't be proud of later. In the midst of the emotional turmoil, I wait. I don't try to fix it - I sit in the hurt and tell God, "I don't understand. This hurts and I'm scared, but I trust You and I will hide here in you and wait." I have learned that dealing with pain this way prevents further pain. It prevented me from trying to control and manipulate, from trying to get answers, and from trying say things out of insecurities that would cause new pain in someone else. I waited in the midst of the disaster going on all around and trusted that it would be okay.

And as you would guess - it is. Every single thing that was chaos is now in order. Everything that scared me, I overcame. Everything that didn't make sense, I now see clearly. Everything that hurt has now been healed. God came through in ways that I could have never made happen. I could have forced the circumstances, but I could have never changed the hearts of the people the way He did. Trust him while the disaster passes.